Inveterate blog reader that I am, I love A Very British Dude, partly because it often talks sense, and partly because it’s so funny. An excerpt from one of its recent posts:
“Which leads me to the IMF, who said that whilst the world economy is "fucked", Britain is going to endure the economic equivalent of a roasting by John Holmes, Rocco Siffredi and Ron Jeremy with the Sunderland association football team standing ready to take sloppy seconds.
“Why, Gordon, is the UK facing a worse recession than any other major economy? Because the people and businesses of this land do not have any spare money to invest in anything more complex than a new label on a bag of gourmet choccies (which are delicious - they're available at Selfriges). Why is that? Because you've fucking taxed it all? And before you blame the banks, all banks around the world are enduring similar write-downs. The UK is not alone in enduring a property crash. And what have you done, Gordon, with that tax? You've wasted it on Diversity outreach coordinators' salaries in order to prop up your filthy party's electorate. And is that tax all you spent? No it isn't, because you were borrowing heavily even when the tax income was at boom levels. Even the most stupid of people must realise that you should be running surpluses when the economy is enjoying "15 consecutive quarters of growth". Failure to do so invites trouble when the inevitable bust comes. Oh... what's that? You've abolished boom 'n bust? Did you honestly believe that? It appears you did...
“It's simple. The reason Britain is in a worse position than any developed economy, is because of a decade of Gordon Brown's economic mismanagement. Right now, the only thing which could shorten the recession is his immediate resignation and suicide.”
Love it.
Friday, 30 January 2009
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Summits and Tours
If there is one certain rule in life, it is this: when politicians announce a 'summit' or a 'tour of the country', you know that:
a. they're in the shit
b. that means that we poor proles are in the shitter with them
c. they have absolutely no idea how to get out of the shit, and
d. they are desperate to be seen to do something to deflect attention from c above
Thus today, Lord Mambypamby is holding a 'car industry summit'.
Previously this month you will recall that Gordy went on a 'Jobs Tour' of the country.
What a load of wankers. How do the media let them get away with it?
a. they're in the shit
b. that means that we poor proles are in the shitter with them
c. they have absolutely no idea how to get out of the shit, and
d. they are desperate to be seen to do something to deflect attention from c above
Thus today, Lord Mambypamby is holding a 'car industry summit'.
Previously this month you will recall that Gordy went on a 'Jobs Tour' of the country.
What a load of wankers. How do the media let them get away with it?
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Cyclists
(Please note - this is an Obama free zone today and for many days to come)
On the way to work today I was in cyclist hell. Frankly the whole lot of them should be shot, one by one. Here's why:
1. One moment on the pavement, then on the road, then on the pavement, then on the fucking road again.
2. Slicing across my front, millimetres from my bumper as they do the above, flicking the Vs if you dare to hoot.
3. The arrogance of just riding through lights as if they are some special class of road user.
4. Their indignant outrage and aggression if they feel that you have (a) impeded their progress or (b) not second-guessed their antics and so got closer to them than they wanted.
5. The way they feel entitled to kick or hit your car if they don't like your driving, which is usually caused because they have just done something mad which you were somehow meant to anticipate.
6. The way they push to the front of any queue, blocking other vehicles as they do, in their 'special cyclist box' and then....pull away from the lights so fucking slowly that they actually cause congestion and make you miss the lights.
7. Their general 'holier than thou' attitude towards any other road user.
8. Their rip off lawyer tactics when they do get knocked off, usually due to their arrogant, aggressive and appalling road skills (see below).
Sometime ago, Mrs C, a careful driver, was sitting at the lights, in the left hand lane, indicating left. As the lights changed a fucking loony on a bike screamed up her left hand side heading straight on and at 5-10 mph Mrs C knocked her off her bike. Mrs C stopped, helped her, gave info to the police blah, blah. Said loony was fine, small cut no more.
A few days later the legal claim arrived: £10,000 for loss of bike, loss of memory, loss of sex life, brain ache, head ache, arm ache, heart ache etc. Spoke to insurance company. View was that although she was in the wrong, clearly lying and trying to work the system, she was on a bike and Mrs C was wrapped in a 4x4 and any court would automatically find against Mrs C, whatever the circs. They negotiated it down to £2k. Un-fucking-believable.
Hope they all rot in hell.
On the way to work today I was in cyclist hell. Frankly the whole lot of them should be shot, one by one. Here's why:
1. One moment on the pavement, then on the road, then on the pavement, then on the fucking road again.
2. Slicing across my front, millimetres from my bumper as they do the above, flicking the Vs if you dare to hoot.
3. The arrogance of just riding through lights as if they are some special class of road user.
4. Their indignant outrage and aggression if they feel that you have (a) impeded their progress or (b) not second-guessed their antics and so got closer to them than they wanted.
5. The way they feel entitled to kick or hit your car if they don't like your driving, which is usually caused because they have just done something mad which you were somehow meant to anticipate.
6. The way they push to the front of any queue, blocking other vehicles as they do, in their 'special cyclist box' and then....pull away from the lights so fucking slowly that they actually cause congestion and make you miss the lights.
7. Their general 'holier than thou' attitude towards any other road user.
8. Their rip off lawyer tactics when they do get knocked off, usually due to their arrogant, aggressive and appalling road skills (see below).
Sometime ago, Mrs C, a careful driver, was sitting at the lights, in the left hand lane, indicating left. As the lights changed a fucking loony on a bike screamed up her left hand side heading straight on and at 5-10 mph Mrs C knocked her off her bike. Mrs C stopped, helped her, gave info to the police blah, blah. Said loony was fine, small cut no more.
A few days later the legal claim arrived: £10,000 for loss of bike, loss of memory, loss of sex life, brain ache, head ache, arm ache, heart ache etc. Spoke to insurance company. View was that although she was in the wrong, clearly lying and trying to work the system, she was on a bike and Mrs C was wrapped in a 4x4 and any court would automatically find against Mrs C, whatever the circs. They negotiated it down to £2k. Un-fucking-believable.
Hope they all rot in hell.
Monday, 19 January 2009
Obamation...
...is a new word to describe the coronation of St Obama Of Chicago.
You would think this fucker has already saved the world from obliteration and cured cancer the way the media are carrying on.
To be exact, he has done nothing but win an election against an idiot Republican candidate who did all he could to lose with the backdrop of the most unpopular Republican President of all time. Wow. What an achievement.
All this crazy fever comes from that amazing world of hyperbole in which America lives.
Mark my words: he will have an incredible and long honeymoon period, the media will keep wanking him off, he will win a second term but many who voted for him will be disillusioned with him by the end. He is not Jesus and will not change the world.
You would think this fucker has already saved the world from obliteration and cured cancer the way the media are carrying on.
To be exact, he has done nothing but win an election against an idiot Republican candidate who did all he could to lose with the backdrop of the most unpopular Republican President of all time. Wow. What an achievement.
All this crazy fever comes from that amazing world of hyperbole in which America lives.
Mark my words: he will have an incredible and long honeymoon period, the media will keep wanking him off, he will win a second term but many who voted for him will be disillusioned with him by the end. He is not Jesus and will not change the world.
Sunday, 18 January 2009
At Last!
The current economic crisis has been continually blamed by world governments and particularly by Brown's Government on (a) the US sub prime issue and (b) evil bankers seeking fat cat bonuses through reckless lending. Both are fatuous and wrong but the media just won't expose this blame shift and write the truth.
It is clear what the problem was: too lax a system of Government regulation within which the banks operate. This lax system allowed them to lend too easily, thus stoking up the residential market in particular to crazy levels of growth. They lent too easily to people who could not afford the loans. In fact it was worse. Governments pushed banks to lend to poorer people so they could boast that they were "attacking social injustice" and "creating social mobility". And in fact it was even worse than that. Governments - ours in particular - built up their own unaffordable debt to carry out all their social engineering policies. The regulators had gone native.
How do the media allow the Government to get away with this blame shift?
Even today, when finally a Government Minister admits that Government regulation caused the problem (see here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7835283.stm), I guarantee that the media will not pounce on it and run with it on every bulletin.
It is clear what the problem was: too lax a system of Government regulation within which the banks operate. This lax system allowed them to lend too easily, thus stoking up the residential market in particular to crazy levels of growth. They lent too easily to people who could not afford the loans. In fact it was worse. Governments pushed banks to lend to poorer people so they could boast that they were "attacking social injustice" and "creating social mobility". And in fact it was even worse than that. Governments - ours in particular - built up their own unaffordable debt to carry out all their social engineering policies. The regulators had gone native.
How do the media allow the Government to get away with this blame shift?
Even today, when finally a Government Minister admits that Government regulation caused the problem (see here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7835283.stm), I guarantee that the media will not pounce on it and run with it on every bulletin.
Friday, 16 January 2009
Why We Hate Politicians
Politicians of all shades endlessly opine about how they are maligned. A few reasons why:
1. Because they promise things before an election with little intention of actually doing them after an election. We proles call that lying.
2. Because on any story, rather than looking for a practical solution, they look for a political one where they can big up their party and diss the other side. We proles call that lying.
3. Because they hide facts that are inconvenient for them. We proles call that lying.
4. Because they tell us that we all have to do x not y (usually at great personal cost to ourselves) but they then do y themselves and try and hide it from us. We proles call that lying.
5. Because they endlessly try to hide the cost of what we taxpayers have to pay for them. We proles call that lying.
1. Because they promise things before an election with little intention of actually doing them after an election. We proles call that lying.
2. Because on any story, rather than looking for a practical solution, they look for a political one where they can big up their party and diss the other side. We proles call that lying.
3. Because they hide facts that are inconvenient for them. We proles call that lying.
4. Because they tell us that we all have to do x not y (usually at great personal cost to ourselves) but they then do y themselves and try and hide it from us. We proles call that lying.
5. Because they endlessly try to hide the cost of what we taxpayers have to pay for them. We proles call that lying.
Thursday, 15 January 2009
January Catch Up Rant
I'm back. Had a rest from blogging over the Christmas break and then a business trip to the US.
Where to start. So many thing are pissing me off:
Giving taxpayers' money to the UK car industry – madness which didn’t work last time (see 1970, British Leyland etc)
Giving taxpayers' money to the US car industry – more madness but on a much bigger scale (see above)
Manufactured PC outrage at Prince Harry using the 'paki' word – aged over 60 and ’paki’ and ‘nigga’ are purposefully insulting but many see them as acceptable, between 25-60 and the thought police win and these are unacceptable words, under 25 and these words are used all day long by the children of the very people who tell you that these words are unacceptable. Language evolves (see Coolio in da Big Bruvva House, Man)
Economic migrants claiming benefits paid for by the UK taxpayer – so they’re not leaving after all. No, I’m paying for them
People falling over themselves to eulogize about Heath Ledger, the drug addict actor who killed himself taking drugs – he took drugs, he died, the end. Moron
The media still letting Gordon Brown get away with (a) ruining the economy in the first place, (b) rolling out a half-baked recovery plan without pulling it apart and (c) not criticising the 'jobs road show' as just another Labour PR blitz – we’re all off to hell in a hand cart
Whopping accommodation allowances for senior civil servants – unfucking believable
Lack of media condemnation of Palestinian rocketing of Israel – not pro Israel but let’s show some balance. Arab world hates Israel, a legal democratic entity. Arab fanatics threaten and attack Israel regularly. Israel invades ‘occupied territories’ in 1967. Much toing and froing since but in essence Israelis won’t leave occupied territories until they are sure of no further threat. Attacks continue. Israel defends itself using its well documented policy of ‘massive retaliation’. Policy has meant Syria, Egypt and Jordan no longer threaten Israel, so what don’t Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran get exactly?
Russia waging energy war on Europe – it is a war, make no mistake
Tory hype and media over a minister saying that economic ’green shoots’ are here – which is actually true, as it was when Norman Lamont said the same in 1991
BBC News items pretending to be news but which are in fact trailers for BBC programmes later that day – ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Do they think we are thick and don’t notice? Where’s Ofcom when you need them
MPs trying to ban the anti God bus advert – so it’s OK to spread religion but not OK to criticize it. Must be Blair/Brown Britain ‘thought police’ logic
Where to start. So many thing are pissing me off:
Giving taxpayers' money to the UK car industry – madness which didn’t work last time (see 1970, British Leyland etc)
Giving taxpayers' money to the US car industry – more madness but on a much bigger scale (see above)
Manufactured PC outrage at Prince Harry using the 'paki' word – aged over 60 and ’paki’ and ‘nigga’ are purposefully insulting but many see them as acceptable, between 25-60 and the thought police win and these are unacceptable words, under 25 and these words are used all day long by the children of the very people who tell you that these words are unacceptable. Language evolves (see Coolio in da Big Bruvva House, Man)
Economic migrants claiming benefits paid for by the UK taxpayer – so they’re not leaving after all. No, I’m paying for them
People falling over themselves to eulogize about Heath Ledger, the drug addict actor who killed himself taking drugs – he took drugs, he died, the end. Moron
The media still letting Gordon Brown get away with (a) ruining the economy in the first place, (b) rolling out a half-baked recovery plan without pulling it apart and (c) not criticising the 'jobs road show' as just another Labour PR blitz – we’re all off to hell in a hand cart
Whopping accommodation allowances for senior civil servants – unfucking believable
Lack of media condemnation of Palestinian rocketing of Israel – not pro Israel but let’s show some balance. Arab world hates Israel, a legal democratic entity. Arab fanatics threaten and attack Israel regularly. Israel invades ‘occupied territories’ in 1967. Much toing and froing since but in essence Israelis won’t leave occupied territories until they are sure of no further threat. Attacks continue. Israel defends itself using its well documented policy of ‘massive retaliation’. Policy has meant Syria, Egypt and Jordan no longer threaten Israel, so what don’t Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran get exactly?
Russia waging energy war on Europe – it is a war, make no mistake
Tory hype and media over a minister saying that economic ’green shoots’ are here – which is actually true, as it was when Norman Lamont said the same in 1991
BBC News items pretending to be news but which are in fact trailers for BBC programmes later that day – ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Do they think we are thick and don’t notice? Where’s Ofcom when you need them
MPs trying to ban the anti God bus advert – so it’s OK to spread religion but not OK to criticize it. Must be Blair/Brown Britain ‘thought police’ logic
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