So when this happened on Friday evening, I knew I was going to write a post about it. But I wanted a couple of days to go by so that I could calm down and be objective. Here's what happened:
Mrs C wants a coat for Xmas. Harrods had a 30% off week for its most loyal customers, which thanks to Mrs C's ludicrous spending habits, seems to mean us. Mrs C went, looked around and waited for me to finish work. So at around 1730 hrs on Friday I arrived at Horrids carrying my briefcase (a black, fabric, airline style affair with 2 wheels and a retractable handle). I was also carrying a large shopping bag full of another present for Mrs C bought earlier in the day.
As I arrived at the door, I retracted the briefcase's handle, picked it up in my hand and made to enter but was stopped in my tracks by a gruff Horrids security guard who looked and was acting as if he was being confronted by a major threat to Horrids security.
Guard: "Sorry but you can't bring that in here".
MC: "Sorry, bring what in here?"
Guard: "That bag, sir. It has wheels."
MC: "It's just my briefcase."
Guard: "Sorry sir. It has wheels and that's against Horrids policy."
MC: "Why?"
Guard: "Because you might wheel it and someone might fall over it."
MC: "But you let pushchairs in here, right?"
Guard: "Yes we do."
MC: "And prams?"
Guard: "Yes."
MC: "And if I had 20 big shopping bags like this one in my other hand, you would let me in, right?"
Guard: "Yes."
MC: "And you sell these wheely briefcases in the store as well?"
Guard: "Maybe sir but it is company policy that bags with wheels are not allowed into the store. You can leave it at Door 3."
There followed a terrible to do where I went to the next door to be greeted by a similarly brusque guard who had been alerted on the radio by his mate. Pissed off, I told Mrs C to come and get me and we stomped off to the car in high dudgeon.
Mrs C rang to complain, as is her way, and a 'computer says no' conversation ensued, which went nowhere fast where the 21st century officialdom's trump card was inevitably played: "It's against health and safety".
My points:
1. What a stupid fucking rule.
2. Yet another inarticulate dunderhead wanker with a badge wins out over a normal law abiding person, and smirks his way home feeling big about himself.
3. How pathetic is our society now that we are so frightened about health and safety that we err so much on the side of extreme caution that we have shops worried about briefcases on wheels. (We can conqueror the world, thrust into space, wage pointless wars but in Brown's Britain we obsess about PC crap).
4. A great example of British 'gold plating'. Does anyone really think that the HSE would have a problem with wheely briefcases in department stores? Not a real danger are they?
5. What a stupid fucking rule.
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Saturday, 13 December 2008
Britsh Guilty of Attempted Genocide
From today's BBC Online:
"The cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe which has left hundreds dead was caused by the UK, an ally of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has said. Information Minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu described the outbreak as a "genocidal onslaught on the people of Zimbabwe by the British". On Thursday, Mr Mugabe said the spread of cholera had been halted. But aid workers warned that the situation was worsening and the outbreak could last for months. In his comments to media in Harare, Mr Ndlovu likened the appearance of cholera in Zimbabwe to a "serious biological chemical weapon" used by the British. He described it as "a calculated, racist, terrorist attack on Zimbabwe". Mr Mugabe has already accused Western powers of plotting to use cholera as an excuse to invade and overthrow him."
Honestly. You couldn't make this shit up, could you?
"The cholera outbreak in Zimbabwe which has left hundreds dead was caused by the UK, an ally of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe has said. Information Minister Sikhanyiso Ndlovu described the outbreak as a "genocidal onslaught on the people of Zimbabwe by the British". On Thursday, Mr Mugabe said the spread of cholera had been halted. But aid workers warned that the situation was worsening and the outbreak could last for months. In his comments to media in Harare, Mr Ndlovu likened the appearance of cholera in Zimbabwe to a "serious biological chemical weapon" used by the British. He described it as "a calculated, racist, terrorist attack on Zimbabwe". Mr Mugabe has already accused Western powers of plotting to use cholera as an excuse to invade and overthrow him."
Honestly. You couldn't make this shit up, could you?
Friday, 12 December 2008
Good Cash After Bad
Since I seem to be on the economic downturn theme, why would a sensible investor throw their precious money at a fundamentally flawed investment that (a) is failing and will continue to fail and (b) is expected to need further funding sometime soon as it travels further downhill, onto its very uncertain future?
So why oh why is the US taxpayer being forced to pump money into three failing US car manufacturers?
Could it be something to do with weak politicians who won’t say no to unions, their bloated workforce and pampered perks?
The Japanese and European car manufacturing industries have been killing Detroit for decades. Detroit has been making crap cars at a loss for too long. They need some aggressive restructuring. What we need now is strong politicians who are prepared to say: no more money, sort out your businesses, but we will fund retraining for all those you lay off.
So simple. So bold. So unlikely.
So why oh why is the US taxpayer being forced to pump money into three failing US car manufacturers?
Could it be something to do with weak politicians who won’t say no to unions, their bloated workforce and pampered perks?
The Japanese and European car manufacturing industries have been killing Detroit for decades. Detroit has been making crap cars at a loss for too long. They need some aggressive restructuring. What we need now is strong politicians who are prepared to say: no more money, sort out your businesses, but we will fund retraining for all those you lay off.
So simple. So bold. So unlikely.
Thursday, 11 December 2008
Media Miss Brown Target
I am mesmerised by how far the media have missed the target on the politics of the current economic slowdown.
Fact 1 – Labour would like you believe that (a) the recession is entirely the fault of the US sub prime crisis and that (b) Gordy is singlehandedly providing the solution to the global problem.
Fact 2 – The Tories have been woefully pathetic at saying anything serious and original on the crisis, belatedly coming up with their “with Labour’s plan we’re all doomed” mantra, rather hopefully positioning themselves for when it is actually really bad around about the time of the next General Election.
I will now deconstruct both facts. Fact 1:
1. Anyone whom I dealt with in business circles for the last couple of years was clear that we were all sitting on a balloon of debt. At some time, that balloon would burst. So firm and widespread was this view that many of my clients had actually stopped investing in the UK as the market was clearly overheated and due for a correction (aka a crash).
2. The worst of all offenders was the Labour UK Government who (a) laughably began to believe their own spin that they had conquered boom and bust, (b) were either too arrogant or too stupid to see that they were just lucky to be in Government during the back end of the longest boom in recent history, and (c) had lost sight of the fact that the Government was spending more than it earned (see Mr McCawber).
3. So in fact, our deluded Government were more than just complicit: they fuelled the boom and arrogantly thought that bust would never come. The sub prime crisis played its bit-part for sure, but we prolls rely on our leaders to survey the problems on the sea ahead and set our national sails accordingly. This Labour did not do. They binged on cheap money, threw it at the public sector and did not fix the roof while the sun shined.
4. This was not a banking failure therefore, it was a regulatory failure. The Government sets the banking rules and they allowed the rules to be too lax for their own gain. But as we all know, when the shit hits, Government searches for someone to blame and corporate fat cats are an easy target.
Now for Fact 2:
5. The current problem on the sea ahead is deflation. No serious economist believes that there is any other way of avoiding a deflationary cycle by anything other than throwing everything you’ve got at trying to boost the economy. Hence, the Government’s reflationary efforts.
6. To try to say, as the Tories are, that we should just cut Government spending (and any readers will know that I always think Government spending should be cut) and that this will somehow save us from deflationary oblivion is plain deluded.
7. What the Tories should be saying instead is that Labour is merely tinkering with reflation as they do not have any real money to throw at the problem because they did not save for the inevitable rainy day. They mismanaged the economy and are now trying to ‘throw’ the blame.
What amazes me is that the media can’t, don’t or won’t see through any of this.
What Government needs to do urgently is to free up the credit markets, rather than silly pointless stunts like saving us all £2.50 on every £100 we spend for the next few months (as if this will make any material difference). If this does not happen, we really are all doomed.
Fact 1 – Labour would like you believe that (a) the recession is entirely the fault of the US sub prime crisis and that (b) Gordy is singlehandedly providing the solution to the global problem.
Fact 2 – The Tories have been woefully pathetic at saying anything serious and original on the crisis, belatedly coming up with their “with Labour’s plan we’re all doomed” mantra, rather hopefully positioning themselves for when it is actually really bad around about the time of the next General Election.
I will now deconstruct both facts. Fact 1:
1. Anyone whom I dealt with in business circles for the last couple of years was clear that we were all sitting on a balloon of debt. At some time, that balloon would burst. So firm and widespread was this view that many of my clients had actually stopped investing in the UK as the market was clearly overheated and due for a correction (aka a crash).
2. The worst of all offenders was the Labour UK Government who (a) laughably began to believe their own spin that they had conquered boom and bust, (b) were either too arrogant or too stupid to see that they were just lucky to be in Government during the back end of the longest boom in recent history, and (c) had lost sight of the fact that the Government was spending more than it earned (see Mr McCawber).
3. So in fact, our deluded Government were more than just complicit: they fuelled the boom and arrogantly thought that bust would never come. The sub prime crisis played its bit-part for sure, but we prolls rely on our leaders to survey the problems on the sea ahead and set our national sails accordingly. This Labour did not do. They binged on cheap money, threw it at the public sector and did not fix the roof while the sun shined.
4. This was not a banking failure therefore, it was a regulatory failure. The Government sets the banking rules and they allowed the rules to be too lax for their own gain. But as we all know, when the shit hits, Government searches for someone to blame and corporate fat cats are an easy target.
Now for Fact 2:
5. The current problem on the sea ahead is deflation. No serious economist believes that there is any other way of avoiding a deflationary cycle by anything other than throwing everything you’ve got at trying to boost the economy. Hence, the Government’s reflationary efforts.
6. To try to say, as the Tories are, that we should just cut Government spending (and any readers will know that I always think Government spending should be cut) and that this will somehow save us from deflationary oblivion is plain deluded.
7. What the Tories should be saying instead is that Labour is merely tinkering with reflation as they do not have any real money to throw at the problem because they did not save for the inevitable rainy day. They mismanaged the economy and are now trying to ‘throw’ the blame.
What amazes me is that the media can’t, don’t or won’t see through any of this.
What Government needs to do urgently is to free up the credit markets, rather than silly pointless stunts like saving us all £2.50 on every £100 we spend for the next few months (as if this will make any material difference). If this does not happen, we really are all doomed.
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Police in Parliament
Don't you just love it. The Labour Party endlessly used civil service leaks when it was in opposition. Now the Tories are doing the same. Both parties when in Government feign outrage at such reprehensible behaviour and demand a search for those evil leakers.
The only difference between the two parties at the moment seems to be how they behave when faced with the problem.
The Tories put up with it, I suppose accepting that it was just one of the natural issues a Government has to deal with.
New Labour, control freaks that they are, have (a) got the now highly politicised civil service to complain to the police (who have done what the police always do and having received a complaint, in fear that they will be criticised for not acting, have begun an investigation) and (b) through their highly biased and incompetent Speaker 'placeman' allowed the police to charge into Parliament and arrest and search who and what they want.
This is a fundamental moment for our democracy. We cannot allow any Government to frustrate the activities of the opposition. A democracy is a democracy, however inconvenient for the Government of the day.
Where next? Arrest of those who hold unfashionable political views despite the inconvenient fact that there is no court testable evidence to convict them of anything? Oh no, hold on, actually New Labour's already done that with the radical Muslims that they haven't tried but keep under house arrest.
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." (Edmund Burke)
The only difference between the two parties at the moment seems to be how they behave when faced with the problem.
The Tories put up with it, I suppose accepting that it was just one of the natural issues a Government has to deal with.
New Labour, control freaks that they are, have (a) got the now highly politicised civil service to complain to the police (who have done what the police always do and having received a complaint, in fear that they will be criticised for not acting, have begun an investigation) and (b) through their highly biased and incompetent Speaker 'placeman' allowed the police to charge into Parliament and arrest and search who and what they want.
This is a fundamental moment for our democracy. We cannot allow any Government to frustrate the activities of the opposition. A democracy is a democracy, however inconvenient for the Government of the day.
Where next? Arrest of those who hold unfashionable political views despite the inconvenient fact that there is no court testable evidence to convict them of anything? Oh no, hold on, actually New Labour's already done that with the radical Muslims that they haven't tried but keep under house arrest.
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." (Edmund Burke)
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Political Integrity
In 1982 when the Argentineans invaded The Falklands, the then Foreign Secretary, Lord Carrington, resigned his post. His reason was simple: he was the guy in charge when a disaster occurred.
How times have changed.
The Council Leader and Cabinet Member of Haringey have had to be hounded out of office before they would take responsibility for the Council’s woeful and fatal performance. In recent years, cabinet ministers have taken illegal loans and interfered in due process before finally being forced from office. Our previous Prime Minister led from the front when he took money from FI mogul Bernie Eccelstone with one hand, whilst concurrently taking decisions that protected Ecclestone’s and FI’s wealth with the other. And our illustrious MPs, led by that beacon of decency and democracy Speaker Michael Martin, have slaved away to stop us prolls finding out how they spend taxpayers’ money on themselves.
Political integrity is long gone.
How times have changed.
The Council Leader and Cabinet Member of Haringey have had to be hounded out of office before they would take responsibility for the Council’s woeful and fatal performance. In recent years, cabinet ministers have taken illegal loans and interfered in due process before finally being forced from office. Our previous Prime Minister led from the front when he took money from FI mogul Bernie Eccelstone with one hand, whilst concurrently taking decisions that protected Ecclestone’s and FI’s wealth with the other. And our illustrious MPs, led by that beacon of decency and democracy Speaker Michael Martin, have slaved away to stop us prolls finding out how they spend taxpayers’ money on themselves.
Political integrity is long gone.
Monday, 1 December 2008
St Max Mosely
So a regular topic of this blog will inevitably be the unbridled, unregulated and malign power of the media.
Now, you may challenge my 'unregulated' comment all you want, but we all know that the PCC is a toothless and ineffectual fig leaf which allows the media to carry on and do its usual ghastly stuff.
I am sure I will turn to St Max Mosely and his fight with the News of the World and others again and again, not because I want to defend people who rent hookers and enjoy sado-masochism, each to their own on that one (but it should be pointed out that what Mosely did was legal and consensual), but because the media in that instance invaded a private individual's privacy so that they could make themselves richer (by running a 'shock, horror' headline and story, thus selling more newspapers to us prolls).
Anyone who has any misgivings about my view here should read the judge's words where he lays bare the unethical and manipulative methods of our illustrious media: http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/QB/2008/1777.html
What the judge says is instructive about our media:
1. The editor of NoW and the journalist who ran the story were extremely unreliable witnesses who tried to blackmail the women involved.
2. They ran a salacious story and, when challenged, retrospectively concocted a 'public interest' argument in order to justify their actions.
I rest my case, M'lud.
No St Max's beatification is due to the fact that he had the balls to take the bastards on. Sadly, the judge did not award punitive damages against the NoW, and until a judge does this the media will continue to 'rape' private individuals in order to make more profit for themselves.
Now, you may challenge my 'unregulated' comment all you want, but we all know that the PCC is a toothless and ineffectual fig leaf which allows the media to carry on and do its usual ghastly stuff.
I am sure I will turn to St Max Mosely and his fight with the News of the World and others again and again, not because I want to defend people who rent hookers and enjoy sado-masochism, each to their own on that one (but it should be pointed out that what Mosely did was legal and consensual), but because the media in that instance invaded a private individual's privacy so that they could make themselves richer (by running a 'shock, horror' headline and story, thus selling more newspapers to us prolls).
Anyone who has any misgivings about my view here should read the judge's words where he lays bare the unethical and manipulative methods of our illustrious media: http://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/QB/2008/1777.html
What the judge says is instructive about our media:
1. The editor of NoW and the journalist who ran the story were extremely unreliable witnesses who tried to blackmail the women involved.
2. They ran a salacious story and, when challenged, retrospectively concocted a 'public interest' argument in order to justify their actions.
I rest my case, M'lud.
No St Max's beatification is due to the fact that he had the balls to take the bastards on. Sadly, the judge did not award punitive damages against the NoW, and until a judge does this the media will continue to 'rape' private individuals in order to make more profit for themselves.
Friday, 28 November 2008
Political Followship
Once upon a time, we had political leaders who were 'conviction politicians'. They decided what they believed in, nailed their colours to the mast and we prolls were able to make an informed choice: vote for them or not. Examples are many but much of Thatcher's legacy was thus and Blair had his 'conviction politician' moments in the early days too, viz Clause 4.
But since Blair, and the breakdown of the simple Left versus Right choice, we now have politicians who have no ideological anchors and thus set their so called 'beliefs' by what they think us prolls want to vote for. Yesterday gave us a wonderful example.
Boris Johnson, in his campaign for the London mayoralty, understood that the western extension to the Congestion Charge zone was unpopular in his west London Tory stronghold. But he would be criticized by the Lefties and also the Greenies in his own Party if he got rid of it. Did he nail his political colours to the mast? No. He is a fine example of the modern breed of politician, who are all exponents of political followship. No, he said he would 'carry out a consultation exercise on the issue and let the people decide'.
('Political follower' leaders always love consultation, because they can claim they are listening to us prolls when really they are just asking what is popular so that they can support it. They love dressing that up as 'letting the people decide'. What is the point of having all these expensively taxpayer-funded politicians and political parties if we are turning into fucking Switzerland and holding a referendum on every tricky decision, I ask you?)
Now everybody knew the outcome of this new consultation exercise even before it started. Why? Because the previous Mayor, The Great Newt of City Hall, had already carried one out when he instigated the whole western extension thing and the outcome was pretty overwhelmingly against having it in the first place. But he ignored that inconvenient fact, good man of the people that he is.
So yesterday, in a fanfare of blonde pompousness, The Buffoon announced that the results were - shock horror - overwhelmingly against and so he would scrap the much disliked western extension at best speed, ie in 2010 - don't cha just love the speed with which these muppets work?
Political followers win again, their political arrogance so naked and bulletproof that they don't realise that we can see through them. We poor prolls are once more treated like assholes.
But since Blair, and the breakdown of the simple Left versus Right choice, we now have politicians who have no ideological anchors and thus set their so called 'beliefs' by what they think us prolls want to vote for. Yesterday gave us a wonderful example.
Boris Johnson, in his campaign for the London mayoralty, understood that the western extension to the Congestion Charge zone was unpopular in his west London Tory stronghold. But he would be criticized by the Lefties and also the Greenies in his own Party if he got rid of it. Did he nail his political colours to the mast? No. He is a fine example of the modern breed of politician, who are all exponents of political followship. No, he said he would 'carry out a consultation exercise on the issue and let the people decide'.
('Political follower' leaders always love consultation, because they can claim they are listening to us prolls when really they are just asking what is popular so that they can support it. They love dressing that up as 'letting the people decide'. What is the point of having all these expensively taxpayer-funded politicians and political parties if we are turning into fucking Switzerland and holding a referendum on every tricky decision, I ask you?)
Now everybody knew the outcome of this new consultation exercise even before it started. Why? Because the previous Mayor, The Great Newt of City Hall, had already carried one out when he instigated the whole western extension thing and the outcome was pretty overwhelmingly against having it in the first place. But he ignored that inconvenient fact, good man of the people that he is.
So yesterday, in a fanfare of blonde pompousness, The Buffoon announced that the results were - shock horror - overwhelmingly against and so he would scrap the much disliked western extension at best speed, ie in 2010 - don't cha just love the speed with which these muppets work?
Political followers win again, their political arrogance so naked and bulletproof that they don't realise that we can see through them. We poor prolls are once more treated like assholes.
Thursday, 27 November 2008
Woolies Bites the Dust
(See, I really am back and posting).
So the alledgedly much beloved retailer, Woolies, was pronounced dead today. And all I have heard all day is people moaning on about how sad it is.
Sad? WTF? Woolies is bankrupt because:
1. It sells absolute crap in a very fast moving, highly competitive, consumer savvy marketplace.
2. Other more efficient retailers (many online) have therefore beaten it to death.
3. None of the over emotional sentimentalists I have heard all day on radio and TV bemoaning its demise actually bothered their asses to shop there, principally because of 1 and 2 above.
Business is like nature. Small trees grow into large trees and then die.
The same will happen in turn to the current darlings of the high street and Internet: Tesco, Lidl, Aldi, Primark, Asos etc.
The current terrible market conditions (aka the banks pulling the plug on some of the walking dead) on top of the previous rise of the supermarkets and online retailers will mean some household names in the mid-market will die this Christmas.
So the alledgedly much beloved retailer, Woolies, was pronounced dead today. And all I have heard all day is people moaning on about how sad it is.
Sad? WTF? Woolies is bankrupt because:
1. It sells absolute crap in a very fast moving, highly competitive, consumer savvy marketplace.
2. Other more efficient retailers (many online) have therefore beaten it to death.
3. None of the over emotional sentimentalists I have heard all day on radio and TV bemoaning its demise actually bothered their asses to shop there, principally because of 1 and 2 above.
Business is like nature. Small trees grow into large trees and then die.
The same will happen in turn to the current darlings of the high street and Internet: Tesco, Lidl, Aldi, Primark, Asos etc.
The current terrible market conditions (aka the banks pulling the plug on some of the walking dead) on top of the previous rise of the supermarkets and online retailers will mean some household names in the mid-market will die this Christmas.
I'm Back. Did You Miss Me?
OK so I flunked the 'can he keep his blog going' test. But having 'rested' I am now back with renewed ranting venom. There is so much to rant about. I just don't know where to begin.
But, to ensure I keep my rant up, I am setting myself a cast iron rule by which I will now live:
'Little and often'.
That is my route to blogging heaven. Shorter, sharper, more focus. Bring it on.
But, to ensure I keep my rant up, I am setting myself a cast iron rule by which I will now live:
'Little and often'.
That is my route to blogging heaven. Shorter, sharper, more focus. Bring it on.
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